The 4th Quarter...

                                      

Maybe I look at life differently because I was trained in teaching motor skills and my graduate work was in observation and evaluation but I know for sure that things I see and witness around me are seen through these paradigms. 

Having been a coach and teacher of young women and men I know the skills and wanting needed to master any movement to become the best player of whatever athletic event one chooses; to be part of a team is in and of itself I think one of the best paved highways for a person to learn about themselves, their place in their world and the acknowledgement that teams are called teams because it can't be done alone. Being motivated to work hard and learning real discipline for not only yourself but for the good of others as well is huge in my book.

Coaches live and work in the preseason, the season, post season and then prepping for the next preseason. Each one of these  vital seasons requires us to do a myriad of things so that our team is ready for THE season. Not only must we be aware of and know our players' needs for physical skill development; but, mental clarity and emotional stability must also be addressed. In addition, we also need to teach them their specific role as a member of  a team and what exactly their job is on that team.  This knowledge for a coach is acquired through certification requirements and from time spent working intensely with youngsters. Necessary and important exchanges with the youngsters including who they are, where they came from, what values and beliefs they hold and what their goals or dreams may be are all part and parcel of developing a team.  A coach with integrity and a profound belief in young people is very special and its not because they have gold balls and championship banners, it is about the lasting impact they leave behind on the lives they are so fortunate to have nurtured. With that said, coaches can also be the scapegoats for anything or anyone at any time as they are placed in the impossible position to block the whim of the masses.  Sadly some do succumb to the whispers and shouts instead of being secure in their decisions, beliefs and purpose. 

A vital tactile skill that a coach must possess, along with many others, is the innate ability to quickly make adjustments in the heat of play. Some of these can be made during a contest, at half time or between quarters and a knowledgeable spectator knows this is happening as these adjustments are seen via hand signals with fingers flashing, arm movements across chests, shouts of "Omaha" or "Blue" just to name a few. Most of us coaching in a public school setting do not have the luxury of a support staff so our skills of quickly adapting are learned and practiced through years of coaching clinics, scouting reports and studying unlimited possible strategic presentations. Some of us become masters of this skill, others not so much.

Games are made up of quarters, halves, periods, sets, heats and matches. These time periods were incorporated to give players and coaches time to adjust, take a breath and for fans to visit concession stands that in many places help support the teams they are watching.

As I stated in the beginning of this essay, because of my training and experience I have realized and acknowledged that I look at life the same way I looked at games...

The 1st Quarter...This is the beginning, like birth to 24 years of age. I believe this quarter is the most profound and monumental time of a person's growth and development. From diapers to bras and jock straps, babbling to boozing,  "Mama" to dialect,  crawling to 10 K's, crying for calories then counting them, peddling a trike to holding a license, being read to then reading volumes, partying and fooling around, printing your name to signing documents, earning an allowance then choosing a career or trade, play dates to practices, cousins as first friends then to school friends, pee wee teams of T-ball and soccer, cub scouts and brownies, dance class, swim lessons then high school team sports with clubs and fund raisers. Leaving home, dorm life, the first apartment, roommates and then living all alone.  Learning the weight of a passion, being low on funds and "see you when I see you" becomes our good bye. Smitten hearts to broken ones, choosing a partner or not, wanting children to the beginning of raising them and our routines get  established. It's an era of volcanic proportions and there is more wonder than worry.  The ground work is laid for the next three quarters of the game and adjustments will need to be made after experiencing that 1st quarter. 

The 2nd Quarter... this takes place from 25 to 49 years of age and a host of tactile adjustments are made. Our decisions and choices have impacted our roles in the game and how we play it.  We live patterns of chosen behaviors with ourselves and our families. Our careers continue to put food on the table, roofs over our heads, wheels under our feet and fun in the sun somewhere.  School pictures litter our fridges and shuttling kids to activities continues but some are now able to drive themselves. Our skill base has widened as we juggle our fitness schedules, work schedules, cooking schedules, family schedules and play and party schedules.  We throw, catch, push, pull, jog, leap, jump, squat, swing, hang but mostly not through our sport play but through our living needs and we struggle to do it all to whatever degree we must. Recreational leagues provide us a place for our continued love to compete even though the cheering has stopped. Fans are few with a bench or two, our egos are checked with a high five and a "till next time".  Alarm clocks still jar our mornings.  Calendars are scribbled on, scratched off, blocked out and highlighted with"save the dates" and "vacation" all capitalized. No wonder we have yet to schedule that colonoscopy!  We think about money, may or may not have a budget and sometimes rob Peter to pay Paul but we function in our world the best we can. We begin to look at our habits instead of our goals and talk about doing things differently. Fortunate for those who have yet to encounter close deaths but not so fortunate for others. We learn that we are forever changed not only by those who stay but so too by those who leave. The pace we live is frantic with little time to realize that adjustments are being made. We still dream and hope but now more so for the kids than for ourselves. We begin to think about having empty nests and what that might look like and that we may or may not have to work so hard to keep it all going.  Then come the grand kids...Our 2nd quarter is a portrait of skill and mobility in motion.

The 3rd Quarter...we have traveled through mid life with the arrival of 50 to 74 aging years. The hour glass is about half empty but we still have the skills to stay in the game. We have been revived by our half time rest...we have been somewhat rejuvenated  by our dreams of retiring and watching grand kids arrive and thrive. We begin to have the time to reflect and review where we have been what we have done, how we have fit in our world and know that we still have time in the game to make some necessary adjustments as our hectic schedules are beginning to slow and our daily calendars show less bright high lights. The reality of the "past" and "future"  awakens us to organize and downsize. We find that those items we once treasured are only stuff and it can all go. Loves are held and lost, other loves found and regrets are viewed as lessons.  Heart Shadows begin to drape our minds. We have found our voice and hold our values and beliefs strongly. We know who and what we are. We continue to move about our worlds but now we hum the mantra "If you don't have your health you don't have anything" all, while our mobility slows.

The 4th Quarter...this is it, time is running down and we are faced with the final push through our years of surviving to the end. The ever present clangs of an alarm clock are no longer heard and are replaced by slow daylight dawning, quiet yawns and slow stretches.  Pill boxes live on kitchen tables next to stained tea cups while others sleep at the bedside.  Our calendar blocks are now highlighted with appointments for  dermatologists, cardiologists, urologists, knee replacements, overdue eye exams, dreaded teeth implants, and flu and pneumonia shots. Written reminders to drink water and eat fiber are viewed on the refrigerator betwixt pictures of the grans and great grans. License renewals now require a written test, menus are no longer able to be read by candle light and our televisions can be heard from next door.  Bodies are reclined mid afternoons with closed eyes that are "only resting" but never napping.  We have a new relationship with our mortality as we well know that we have a shelf life. Heart Shadows have warmly wrapped themselves through, over and around us yet there always seems to be room for more. Acquired wisdom is held close but with little patience to listen to fools our once pocketed tongues are freed.  We encounter being lonely, not the same as being alone. It's an experience never really planned but one most of us will share.  We know the game is  coming to an end. We feel it in every creaking, groaning move we make. We don't win this one, we may hope for an overtime or an extra inning, maybe one more set...it's all okay we tell ourselves. It will all show in our post game reviews...it's really true folks, it is how we conduct ourselves and play the game.